Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”

Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”

“Really? like a newborn baby?”

“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

1 Comments      

Sign up for more!

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!

0 Comments      

Sign up for more!

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!

0 Comments      

Sign up for more!

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

0 Comments      

Sign up for more!

I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.

0 Comments      

Sign up for more!

Forget about the past, you cant change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!

1 Comments      

Sign up for more!

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

0 Comments      

Sign up for more!

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

0 Comments      

Sign up for more!

A birthday is just another 365 days around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

0 Comments      

Sign up for more!