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Officer: How high are you?
Me: No officer it's hi, how are you.
--- bailey_kay12

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My friend forgot her laptop on my floor and my grandma thought it was a scale, conclusion my grandma weighs 950 dollars. --- bailey_kay12

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The best place to hide a dead body, page 2 of a Google search results!!
--- bailey_kay12

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Me: mom wheres my phone
Mom: its on the table
Me: no its not
Mom: really do i need to come show you......is it that one *points at the table*
Me: WHAT KINDA WITCHCRAFT IS THAT?????????
--- bailey_kay12

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The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching. --- Shadow 31

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The awkward moment when you step into the van and there's no candy. --- Ninjajoe

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People who have their feet planted firmly on the ground have trouble putting on pants. --- Brick

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I hate when you're playing Guitar Hero and as soon as your doing great you get an itch. --- Anya Cuddlebear

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Teacher: Did you do your homework?
Student: Did you grade my test?
Teacher: I have other students' tests to grade.
Student: I have other teachers' homework to do.
---

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