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Can I just drop it like it's lukewarm? It's been a long day and I'm tired. --- thedayhascome

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If at first you don't succeed, try drinking beer while you do it. You'll be amazed at how much less you care. --- sucittaM

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A friend is like a condom. They'll stick close to you and protect you as best they can but once you fill them with semen you need a new one. --- Grudge_Monkey

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I'm guessing that most people who claim to "count calories" are really bad at math. --- TheHoyBoy

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I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent and now he'll never have any friends. --- sucittaM

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I'm pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out ass. --- YeahImAshley

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I wouldn't be so scared of spiders if they were wearing tiny shoes. --- Just_Alison

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I like marriage. The idea. --- Toni Morrison

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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. --- Rodney Dangerfield

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