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Hello, and welcome to Random Funny Quotes. We created this site in order for people to share short funny quotes and sayings with others. We are sure you have learned some funny quotes or sayings throughout life from family, friends and co-workers. If you are a random, funny person, then this place is a great venue for you to express yourself. Don't be shy, it's totally anonymous and you might make someone's day by putting a smile on their face. If you would like to share a funny quote or saying with others, simply SUBMIT one to our site. Enjoy the funny quotes and happy reading!

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A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. --- arunner


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Ah the irony of having the cashier tell you to have a nice day when you just bought a yeast infection treatment kit. --- Sarah


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I might be crazy, but you’re stupid and medicine doesn’t fix that! --- Kevin


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My girlfriend has a weird fetish, she likes to dress up like herself and act like a bitch every night. --- Brad


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I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on Facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy. --- Anonymous


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My son just said he likes 'the booty'. So now I have to convince his mom that the Cinemax show he watched with me was about pirates. --- FriedWords


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Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches. --- Kay


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Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green. --- Anonymous


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Hope they send us home early; I'm not sure how much longer I can pretend to work today. --- MeetingBoy


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