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Hello, and welcome to Random Funny Quotes. We created this site in order for people to share short funny quotes and sayings with others. We are sure you have learned some funny quotes or sayings throughout life from family, friends and co-workers. If you are a random, funny person, then this place is a great venue for you to express yourself. Don't be shy, it's totally anonymous and you might make someone's day by putting a smile on their face. If you would like to share a funny quote or saying with others, simply SUBMIT one to our site. Enjoy the funny quotes and happy reading!

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Opinions are like orgasms. Mine’s more important and I don’t give a f**k if he has one. --- selfish fem


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The smallest woman can break the biggest man in the world with three little words: Is it in? --- Crystal


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A guy in a romantic mood says to his girlfriend ” I want to be a part of your body”. She replies “No thanks, i already have an asshole!” --- Jenny


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I’m as pissed off as a midget with a yo-yo. --- Mark


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I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. --- Liz


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Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. --- shedevil


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I'm certainly no authority, but if you want to avoid the muffin top you probably shouldn't put size 8 jeans on a size 12 girl. --- Zen_Bubba


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SOBER is actually an acronym that stands for: Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real --- SexCigarsBooze


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Not using a condom is gross, my vagina has a dress code. --- Anonymous


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