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Hello, and welcome to Random Funny Quotes. We created this site in order for people to share short funny quotes and sayings with others. We are sure you have learned some funny quotes or sayings throughout life from family, friends and co-workers. If you are a random, funny person, then this place is a great venue for you to express yourself. Don't be shy, it's totally anonymous and you might make someone's day by putting a smile on their face. If you would like to share a funny quote or saying with others, simply SUBMIT one to our site. Enjoy the funny quotes and happy reading!

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My friends had a surprise party for me last night, well I called it a surprise party, they called it an intervention. --- Deadmau5trap


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Don't let your affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection. --- Kristie


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A well timed "Have a good day!" can be a great substitute for "Fuck you!" in almost every situation. --- wheatnik


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Men and women stalk differently. Men will drive by at night. Women will show up at your job and smash your stuff in front of everyone. --- YUCKYBOT


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I wish I felt as much passion for something as my dogs feel towards the doorbell. --- Ch8rming


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I've been out of work for so long that I've almost forgotten how to hate people. --- Jason_maybe


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I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps. --- Jason_maybe


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Tan lines are like highlighter for your most awesome body parts. --- shariv67


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Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you. --- letsgetgizzy


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