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Hello, and welcome to Random Funny Quotes. We created this site in order for people to share short funny quotes and sayings with others. We are sure you have learned some funny quotes or sayings throughout life from family, friends and co-workers. If you are a random, funny person, then this place is a great venue for you to express yourself. Don't be shy, it's totally anonymous and you might make someone's day by putting a smile on their face. If you would like to share a funny quote or saying with others, simply SUBMIT one to our site. Enjoy the funny quotes and happy reading!

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Safety first. Just kidding, coffee first. Safety's like third or fourth. --- Dickensnyc


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"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment." --- Jarod Kintz


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"Give her a tip!", "Hell, I'm going to give her the whole thing!" --- OOHHTHATGUY


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The fact that there is even such a thing as ugly hookers tells you pretty much all you need to know about men. --- Brain_Wash


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If we put pictures of lost kids on beer cans instead of milk cartons, we'd find them in about 15 minutes. --- buck4itt


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Sex Equation: Me plus you, minus your clothes, divide your legs and lets multiply! --- Aki1969


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SMS codes for seniors: BTW - Bring the Wheelchair FWIW - Forgot Where I Was LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again --- jscottwilson


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I've stopped asking what the meaning of life is. My question now is: "Why do only technologically-challenged people use self-check-outs?". --- LittleHarmonica


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If I could choose any way to destroy the world, I'd delete Google. --- Why-me


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