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Hello, and welcome to Random Funny Quotes. We created this site in order for people to share short funny quotes and sayings with others. We are sure you have learned some funny quotes or sayings throughout life from family, friends and co-workers. If you are a random, funny person, then this place is a great venue for you to express yourself. Don't be shy, it's totally anonymous and you might make someone's day by putting a smile on their face. If you would like to share a funny quote or saying with others, simply SUBMIT one to our site. Enjoy the funny quotes and happy reading!

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When you get pulled over by a cop and he says, "papers," respond with "scissors." Not only will you clearly win, he will be impressed by your wit and sense of humor.
--- bailey_kay12


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Guy: What has 100 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk??

Girl: What?

Guy: My zipper.

--- precious


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If you're cooler than me, doesn't that make me hotter than you? --- bailey_kay12


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Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows, which is pretty much the same thing. --- bailey_kay12


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When a kid makes faces at you through his bus window, follow him home and make faces at him through his bedroom window :) --- bailey_kay12


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I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once. --- Anonymous


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The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. --- Anonymous


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How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!' --- Anonymous


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When will my dog get the hint that my leg "just wants to be friends." --- bailey_kay12


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