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Hello, and welcome to Random Funny Quotes. We created this site in order for people to share short funny quotes and sayings with others. We are sure you have learned some funny quotes or sayings throughout life from family, friends and co-workers. If you are a random, funny person, then this place is a great venue for you to express yourself. Don't be shy, it's totally anonymous and you might make someone's day by putting a smile on their face. If you would like to share a funny quote or saying with others, simply SUBMIT one to our site. Enjoy the funny quotes and happy reading!

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My wife yawned during sex but I really have to blame the dog watching us because he yawned first. --- awryone


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She wanted to be friends with benefits, but I said no because she didn't offer dental. --- Spinchange


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There is absolutely nothing funnier than yelling "HE'S STEALING MY BABY!" at a dad having a hard time with his kid in public. --- sucittaM


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3 Year Old: Mommy, was daddy ever inside you like I was? Wife: Yes. But only for a minute... two tops. --- iamnotdiddy


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Crowded elevators smell different to midgets. --- Sheamus


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You never hear skinny people saying, "I'm just small boned." --- RexHuppke


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Fact: It's not masturbation if you use a puppet. --- cpinck


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How is it that you can sue a cigarette company for cancer & Mcdonalds for getting fat, but you can't sue Budweiser for all the ugly people you boned? --- Anonymous


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Why hasn't anyone invented alcohol that acts as birth control too? --- iMelbel


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